February 24|  🚨 Inside: Impt myths ab living together

February 24, 2023

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if they're taking that (behind the back) talk...

Let’s be clear about one thing: It’s inappropriate to talk negatively or disclose sensitive personal details about anyone behind their back. We have words for this sort of behavior: Gossip. Slander. Badmouthing. Talkin’ sh… mack. When your future spouse does this to you, it feels extra hurtful and violating. When your fiancé’s words find their way back to you, you have every right to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. It’s completely understandable. Now, it’s time to make it relationally productive. 🙊 We expect our future spouse to have our back, not talk behind it.  Even if your fiancé believes what they said to be true, or if it’s their personal opinion, this kind of behavior cannot be justified. (I will give two exceptions to the rule later, but for now, we’re still kinda stingin’ over this.) And, oh boy, if your fiancé is saying things about you behind your back that are not true (exaggerations or misrepresentations), that feeling of betrayal is probably dialed to 10. Nope – 11. If this happens on social media, it makes matters worse. Those words are out there for the whole world to see.

★ Now let's get to the nitty-gritty.

You’re sure your fiancé was talking about you – and it wasn’t good. How do you talk to them about it?

do you need a minute??

“I’m so exhausted and stressed out!” Is that a cry for help or a badge of honor? Sadly, we live in a culture that not only normalizes burnout as a way of life but also kinda glorifies it. 👉 If you are perpetually busy and exhausted—You. Must. Be. Important!  But at what cost? Maybe we need to worry more about being healthy people.  Ah, but insights like that usually only come to us when we slow down, find some quiet, and get alone with ourselves. Alone. Solitude. Introspection. “Sorry, ain’t got time for that!” (I think a lot of people intentionally stay busy because they don’t want to have to think about life and look at themselves.) Make time. Being alone is a healthy skill to be cultivated. Being alone is when some cool stuff happens: Inspiration. Reflection. Insight. Wonder. Clarity. Rest and Restoration. Whatever ambition has you so busy chasing, you’re going to need all this stuff along the way. Plus, the people you care about need you to care about you and take care of you. Taking the time you need can impact everything.

let's get REALatable

It's time to take things a step further & get a little intimate with a Q&A. What do you say?😉 Learn a little bit about the faces behind all of this relationship gold. This week we're chatting with Reggie Madison, a husband, dad of 7 (Yes, you read that right, he and his wife are wayyy outnumbered!), and the VP of Community Relations here at First Things First.  Let's get REALatable💛 & learn a little bit about him: Q: What movie have you seen the most? A: 🎬 I'm giving you two. Courageous. It's a story about how fathers come together to help one another be courageous and outstanding fathers. It gives me encouragement seeing as I have 7 kids at home to father. And the documentary, "The Men that Built America". It's fascinating to me the mindset of business leaders to innovate, contribute to America's overall infrastructure while becoming legendary business moguls. Q: If you gave a TedTalk, what would it be about? A: 💟 The Importance of Entering Marriage in a Healthy Way. So many marriages are doomed from the beginning, but often it's totally preventable if we approach the premarriage phase differently. Q: Best part of being a dad? A: 👨‍👧‍👦 Having 2 young adults (my term for teenagers) and a third one mere months away, the joy has been watching them grow into their identity and seeing them make decisions that are consistent with being the kind of person they choose to be. I'm very proud of who they are choosing to be.

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